Goodbye Blogspot. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I've put this off for far too long, hoping it would somehow make it easier. It hasn't. Strangely, I feel like I'm loosing a little part of myself, even though so much will remain the same.

You see... I'm biting the bullet and transferring my blog from .blogspot to .com. I will no longer be posting content here, so if you like what you've read, you'll have to follow me at www.savedbygracie.com. Please change it in your RSS feed, and update my link on your site, if you happen to have one.


A year ago I had no idea how to use blogspot, and now it has become one of my best friends (sad I know). I've reveled in the simplicity of it - a freely hosted source where I can record my thoughts on any and everything, anytime. With 4 public blogs and 3 private, I've developed a love affair I'm finding hard to let go of. Yet, the time has come. Like a kid going off to college, I've decided to cut the blogspot umbilical cord. See ya on the other side!

A cry-fest with Josh

Some songs are worth putting headphones on for. Josh Groban's "When you say you love me" is one of those. I identify with the lyrics, in perfect unison. "When you say you love me, the world goes still, so still inside. And when you say you love me, for a moment, there's no-one else alive." Incredibly moving, and it begs the question, "Is there any high greater than falling in love?" I think it makes the dating game all worth it, despite the twists and turns, and disappointing (and surprise) endings.

Now there is no smooth segway here - so let me abruptly announce that I have not cried in 3 weeks. Maybe 4. I might be lying. Possibly 2. Regardless, it's been a long time. lol In fact, it wasn't until 3 days after, that I realized I hadn't even cried on my one year anniversary. (Or as my friend Amy calls it, ""divorciversary".) I guess I was too busy driving the strip with my new buddy, Dave, and enjoying Vegas from the back of a motorcycle with my gracious friend Jack. Dinner and a movie ended the night beautifully. I didn't cry because, apparently, there was nothing to cry about. What a great place to be in!

Which leaves me confused. Tonight I have nothing to cry about, yet I decided to let loose and allow a few tears to hit the ground. It felt great, so I'm convinced crying is a necessity for my health. If you haven't had a good cry in awhile, I suggest you give it a try! Just make sure to have Josh Groban blaring through your headphones. He takes a cry-fest to a whole new level.

You're welcome.

Sometimes I worry

7 lessons I've learned, that I didn't know a year ago.

#7: Alone time is rejuvenating
I never made time for it in marriage, but in the last year it's been abundant, and I've learned to appreciate it. I've enjoyed getting to know myself better; to really soul search and discover what I want, who I want to be, and what inspires and drives me. Being alone has taught me that I love writing, and enjoy reading. It's also taught me that I care nothing for television and would rather stay up late cleaning my house than clubbing or going to a party. I know myself better than ever... but of course I do! There's nobody I spend more time with.

#6: People treat others the way they feel about themselves
I've always heard this, but it wasn't until this last year that I truly grasped it. My actions will never control or change another person - they will treat me as good, or as poorly, as they feel about themselves. I've always been a people-pleaser, but now I realize that pleasing everyone, and striving to reach my potential can never be in the same equation. Some opinions are worth holding onto, but the highest valued is that which I hold of myself.

#5: Healthy independence is empowering
Being single has forced me to develop small skills I had overlooked, and doing so has strengthened my confidence. I've gained tons of technical knowledge, discovered that the vacuum kills spiders just as well as a husband, and that fixing a clogged sink isn't so hard after all (just stinky). I should be embarrassed to admit this... but I had never driven through a parking garage on my own, and rarely filled up my own car with gas. I had never driven downtown alone, and only braved going to the same three or four places in the valley. Now I don't even hesitate to drive, including long road trips out of state. Funny, how learning one small skill can be so empowering.

#4: I can trust my own instincts
Decisions have always been hard for me, and in the past I relied heavily on the approval or permission of others, namely my spouse. Now that I have only myself to run ideas past, I've gained greater confidence in my ability to choose well, and to choose well often. I've also learned that the Lord will never make a decision for me, no matter how much I plead. I have to determine what I really want, act accordingly, and wait for Him to sanction it or leads me to a better path. In learning to trust myself, I've found liberation.

#3: Great relationships require great communication
I've never been a fan of confrontation, but it's a necessary evil and the price to pay for healthy relationships. I've learned to be more assertive, less passive, and only somewhat aggressive. (Always a work in progress lol.) It takes time, and work, but addressing a problem is far better than letting resentment fester. Remember, ultimately, people treat you the way you allow them, so if you don't like being stepped all over, belittled or disrespected ... stop allowing it! Lovingly speak your mind and patiently work toward a conclusion. You just might be surprised by the outcome.

#2: Women need each-other
I've discovered the joy, and necessity, of girlfriends and the fulfillment that can found from a girl's night out. I've learned of my dependence upon good friends, and the void they fill that a husband never could, nor was he ever meant to. I've learned to ask friends for help, and rely on them through my lowest lows. As I've branched out and made new girlfriends, I've found a satisfaction that I never knew before, and I couldn't be more grateful

#1: It's all about patience, and trusting in God's timetable
I'll admit, I'm not crazy about this phase of life. But... I've found great fulfillment in trying to make the best of it and living in the present moment, rather than waiting around for the future to arrive. As my friend Tisha says, "The good ol' days are here and now." When I find myself consumed with fears of the future, I remind myself that the Lord has an ineffable love for me, He wants my happiness and has a plan in place which will unfold on His own timetable, contingent upon my righteous efforts. Until then, I must trust that I'm exactly where He wants me to be, so I can become exactly who He needs me to become.

SavedByGracie.com - Join me in the journey

I had limited time to make this video, but if I could re shoot I would add: Healing has not come easily! Depression has certainly played its role, and I've had to make a conscious effort to fight my lows on a daily basis. There were plenty of days where I wanted nothing more than to lie in bed and feel sorry for myself. (I still have those days.) Loneliness has been a frequent companion, but I trust as I try to heal in a proper manner, it will be replaced with a healthy future. I know the lows... but I try not to let them get me down. Sometimes they win. Today, they didn't.

If I can do it... YOU can do it! You've got this.

Running in Snow

I was surprised and ecstatic over this morning's greeting. FRESH SNOW - and the first of 2010!! I couldn't help but fantasize about carving through fresh powder, and working on my goggle tan but, since that's several weeks away, I decided I'd settle for the next best thing. A run.

I love running in the Summer, but snow invites a new kind of energy, unmatched by any other time of the year. The cold air, the warm sun and the sounds of dripping water guarantee to imbue me with ambition and vitality. No matter the time of year, my running trail leaves me beatified and, frankly, I shrink at the thought of ever moving. This is one of those trails I can't take with me, ya know. lol So, until that time comes, I'm gonna savour running here every chance I get. Spring, Summer, Fall and perhaps even Winter. :)

The little joys of motherhood!

I'm not sure a child has ever loved binkies as much as my child. She ALWAYS has at-least one in her mouth and one in her hand - sometimes three or four. I'll take her binkie from her and, without skipping a beat, she'll immediately pop a new one in her mouth, which she'd been hiding in her other hand. Although this makes me giggle, it's a habit I need to break her of... so when I find a way to distract her from her binkies, I take it.


Today she started a new game. Put the binkie down mommy's shirt. Not entirely appropriate, but it served for a great distraction! She was enthralled for a few short minutes, and giggled as she put her 3 favorites in her new found hiding place. Moments later the game had gotten old, and she moved on to the next best thing. The day continued. I fed her, played with her and cuddled her before nap time. As I was cleaning my house, JUST NOW, I noticed a nagging itch on my chest. I went to scratch it, only to discover a yellow binkie still hiding down my shirt. I laughed out loud and found myself delighted over the discovery.

I am SO a mom! I had no idea sticky doorknobs, crayon-covered walls and snot on my left shoulder could be so fulfilling! I wouldn't have it any other way!

Growing pains

Being an adult is no fun. It comes with trials. Not just little bumps in the road, but gapping chasms we must face and cross every day, for the rest of our lives. They become a part of us - a reality we can either fight or embrace. And while things may seem easy for a period of time, it only takes one change to alter our entire life, and it's usually something we never saw coming. Whether through our own choices, the choices of others, or simply the surprises life hands us, change will come.

This is something I've thought a lot about lately, and a fact I'm trying to embrace as I deal with my x weekly, and will likely do so for the rest of my life, or at least for the next 17 years. We're amicable for the most part, but it's still a change that takes getting used to. A change that will never go away. That's part of being an adult. I have two sisters in Kentucky, and both have a handicapped child. The frequent hospital visits, daily treatments and endless medical bills are simply a part of life for them. They're amazing! I don't think I could handle it, but that's part of being an adult. I just learned my childhood friend's wife had cervical cancer and now suffers from frequent seizures. Thankfully he has family near to help, but his lifestyle has been altered forever. That's part of being an adult. A divorced friend is nearly a hundred-thousand dollars in debt because of custody battles, and after 8 years of going back and forth there is still no end in sight. She has no choice but to deal with it. That's part of being an adult.

I guess part of being an adult is dealing with adult trials. They're no fun, but they sure are growing!

He's impressivly persistent

Am I the only one who thinks a marriage proposal over email is weird? It doesn't count... right? And to nullify it further, he and I haven't spoken in years, nor have I heard from him since I was a child. Suddenly he wants to get married!

I politely declined, informing him that I was dating someone and very happy. (It was true).

Today I get a call from an unknown number. I decide to brave it, so I answer. "Natalie? This is 'Bob,' I sent you an email awhile ago?" "Yes, yes. Hi Bob! How have you been?" "Good, good. (small talk and blah blah blah). I was just wondering. If I had a good paying job and a big house, would you marry me then?"

UH... AWKWARD.

"No, Bob. I'm sorry. I wouldn't." "If you marry me, I will cook for you every night, and do all the cleaning."

MORE AWKWARD.

"Thank you, but I'm just not interested." "Do you think if I came up there (He's from out of State) that we could date a little?" "No. I'm sorry." "Well. What can I do to make you love me?"

2 minutes later I politely got off the phone. Poor guy.

I call my mom, appalled at the nerve! As she was laughing, my brother called. "Did you give Bob my number?" I asked. "Bob? Bob who." A few minutes later it rang a bell. No. No he didn't give Bob my number. I told him what had happened, and he got a good laugh out of it. As we were talking Bob called twice. Persistent. I ignored him. We hung up and a few minutes later my brother called again, "Hey! I know what you should say next time Bob calls!" He started into some funny remarks, when my phone beeped AGAIN. It was Bob. ... AGAIN!

"I better get this. It's Bob and he's not gonna leave me alone, until I tell him to." I switched over. "Hello?" I said, overtly irritated. "It's still me," replied my brother. The swap must not have gone through. I looked at my phone to try again, only to see that it HAD gone through... and I WAS talking to "Bob."

My brother and I died laughing, as it all began to add up.

Weeks prior mom had told him about the email proposal (which was not a prank) and my brother immediately began scheming a prank call. Since I haven't heard Bob's voice in over 10 years, my brother figured I would be none the wiser... and he was right. He called from a different number, disguised his voice and, the best part is mom was listening on the other line, laughing hysterically while on mute.

Dungeon to palace. Well... enjoyable, anyway.

It's official. I've finally started remodeling that dungeon I call a basement. I've never liked my basement, and the bland color lends no energy whatsoever. In my marriage I spent several hours a day down there, working beside my x and watching tv with him at night. Now I'd be stretching it to say I've been down there more than 7 hours total over the last year! I don't watch tv, I rarely watch movies, and the best excuse I've found to venture down there is to throw more crap into "storage." Thus, it has become a big storage room.

With winter around the corner, I'll be using the blessed treadmill, so I decided it's time to make my basement a place I enjoy spending time in. These are the color schemes I'm toying with. The shades aren't quite right, but you get the idea. I'm leaning toward the blue and brown. Yeah it's overused... but it's a nice (and drastic) change from the current banal beige. What do you think?

Top of Utah... Top of endurance

Last December I committed to run a marathon in 2010, and it almost got away from me, had it not been for my cousin Kara giving me a little nudge. I finally signed up last month, and ran it this weekend! It was short notice and inadequate training, but I knew with winter around the corner if I didn't do "Top of Utah" I wouldn't meet my goal this year.

I was surprised with the anxiety proceeding the race, and almost dropped out a week prior in fear of injuring myself. Instead I decided to pamper myself along the way by running at an easy pace with plenty of Gatorade, Gu and walking every two miles. I had to stop 5 times over the last 6 miles (potty-breaks), but I can say I "endured to the end," and finished strong - my last mile ran in less than 8 minutes. Overall I'm pleased. My goal was to simply finish, and 4:45 would have left me content, so I was surprised to do it in 4:10! Now I know what to expect for next year, and running it in under 4 hours is the goal. It was both scenic and spiritual, the first 13 miles through a canyon of beautiful changing fall colors.


Most of all, I was incredibly touched by the support I received from friends and family. I saw my cousins at the start line and had dinner with them the night before! I stayed the night with my friend Liz, who rode up with me and ran the race as well - giving me support and encouragment. My parents were there, cheering me on along with my sister Makenzie and, of course, my little Gracie! Jessica and her husband surprised me, as did the wonderful man I had been dating. He was at the finish line with amazing flowers, motivating me to give the final quarter mile my all. I'm so glad I did! My body aches and my legs are weak... but what an amazing experience! Hopefully the first of many.

Changing colors

I was out running last week, when my eye caught the first colors of Fall along my path. The sun was just beginning to set, and the scene was simply breathtaking. It was the only tree within 5 miles to have changed in color - and it couldn't have been in a better location. I had my phone with me so I took a quick picture and relished in the moment.

Can anyone wonder why I love running this path? Beautiful, right?!

Though I would enjoy a steady 70 degrees year-round... each season brings its own kind of beauty and a new appreciation. Regardless of what I do, seasons will come and go in the very order they were meant to. I'm certain my next run will be lined with red trees and, not too long from now, snow. Until that first snowflake arrives, I plan to enjoy theses changing leaves.

THIS is why I love my freezer!

My little dishwasher has been working overtime, and every clean rag in my home is officially dirty. The last 2 days I've found ambition during Gracie's naps... and my feet are swollen to prove it. (Apparently I don't do well on them for very long). It's been a while since I've had a good cooking session, so I decided to do a little OAMC (Once a month cooking). I began experimenting with frozen meals right before Gracie's birth, because I knew it would come in handy with a small family and a tired momma. For a small family it's smart. For a single lady it's invaluable.

This cooking spree includes 8 recipes, only a few of which I doubled - but if I had a family I would double everything and freeze half for later. I found chicken and beef on sale, so I made recipes consisting of both.

I estimate a cost of about $55 in groceries - and 45 1-person meals! I doubled the meatloaf and chimichangas, and I consider my portion sizes generous. Eating out is all too easy, and the average spent per meal is $7. ...$12 for "real" food. My freezer meals come to just over $1 per meal, saving me $270-495!!!

MY MEALS: (and the recipe link to each)
Meatloaf and potatoes: I make slightly bigger meatloafs and use savory instead of sage. Freez potatoes in ice-cream scoops on a saranwrap-lined cookie sheet, then wrap both meatloaf and potatoes individually with saranwrap. I reheat both for 1-1.5 min in microwave, unwarp and they're good to go.

Red Curry and Yellow Curry over Rice. Frozen rice is a staple in my home, and I HIGHLY recommend it! I've never done it with brown rice, but jasmine and long-grain are perfect. I freeze the curry's flat, in a quart-size zip-lock freezer bag, and they reheat just like new in 3-5 minutes.

Scalloped potatoes & ham: Once well cooled, I cut into portion sized squares and freeze them on a lined cookie sheet, then wrap each individually - storing all in a large zip-lock bag. Reheat in saran wrap for 1-2 minutes.

Pasta E Fagoili Soup: DO NOT add the pasta! It will dry it out horribly in freezing and reheating. I like adding more V8 than called for. Again, freeze in zip-lock bags lying flat.

Chicken Chimichangas: I freeze these in halfs, by wrapping them once cooled, putting them in a large freezer bag and simply throwing them in the freezer. Reheat in 1.5 min with saran wrap still on.


SECRETS TO GREAT FREEZING: I freeze for convenience! Thinking ahead and thawing is not an option, so everything I make goes straight from the freezer to the microwave. To freeze I line a cookie sheet with saranwrap for easy removal of items and, once frozen, wrap each individually in saranwrap (Small meatloafs, ice-cream scoops of potatoes, chimichanga halves and portion sized squares of scalloped potatoes). When I reheat I leave the saranwrap on, at least most of the time, to ensure edges don't get dried out and crusty in reheating. Most items hot and ready in only 1-1.5 minutes, straight from the freezer. Soups, rice and "saucy" dishes are frozen in quart sized zip-lock freezer bags, which I fill 1/2 full or more and lay flat to freeze. MAKE SURE YOU LABEL EACH BAG WITH THE RECIPE & DATE MADE. To reheat I pop zip-lock bag in microwave for 2-4 minutes and ... whalla. Thawed, heated and ready to eat! I make everything a tad more juicy (soups, sauces, mashed potatoes) because in freezing and reheating they can lose a little moisture. Never refreeze frozen meats. In otherwords, don't make the chicken chimichanges out of frozen chicken and then plan to freeze them. Obviously there are more "secrets" - but if you're scared of freezing this gives you a quick, easy start.

NOW GO OUT AND CONQUER THE WORLD! ... errrrrr.... atleast one OAMC session.

Emotionally Unavailable

Emotionally unavailable. That's what I am. I know, I know... you're wondering about my love life but don't dare ask. Here it is.

I've never experienced love with a man who lays his heart entirely on the table. Until now. He gives completley and his willingness to allow such vulnerability has left me in absolute awe. I find it wondrous, courageous, heartening and simply beautiful, on a most spiritual level. I am the woman of his dreams, and he makes it well known - and often. I've never been so cherished or received such praise and sincere admiration, nor has a man ever opened his heart so willingly, knowingly taking the risk that it might get hurt. There is no emotional withholding, and his ability to love without reserve is truly magnanimous. I only wish I had the same courage.


I don't. Not yet. And so I let him go. I pray I don't regret it.

It's not fair to him, to bask in the comfort and love he provides, when I know deep down that I can't give that in return. I'm simply unavailable. Emotionally. I can give to a certain point, but it stops there. Sadly, it took 4 years of marriage to give entirely - to allow utter vulnerability, and to fully trust the man I loved - and trust I did. Four years is too long. Next time I will give that on day 1 of marriage, and if I'm not ready do that, then I'm not ready for marriage.

I'm alone. Again. I'm choosing to use this time to better myself, as I prepare to be the kind of woman a man like him deserves. I will be forever grateful for his love, and the astounding man he is!

A picture speaks 1000 words

Well... maybe just 42. But still. It made me smile. Enough said.

Remember the "cool" guy, who still thinks he's cool?

I just got a text from a friend: "Lake Powell! 3 helicopters, 30 wakeboats, 6 houseboats and 1 floating dance floor! You're missing out!" Yeah. That sounds like a ton of fun. Dirty dancing? Check. Alcohol? Check. 30 year old frat boys dunking girls under water and sneaking up on them with scary insects? Check. Wait a minute... what am I missing out on again? Oh yeah. A group of 300 doinks looking for a weekend hookup. No thanks.


Either I'm a big fat stick in the mud, or I've matured slightly over the last 10 years - but I'm appalled over the single's world, and lack of decent people my age. What I've discovered, instead, are a bunch of 30 year old frat boys and moms gone wild. Don't get me wrong, I have my share of faults - but if you're a mom, you gave up your chance to party. Get home and be a mom. If a man thinks it's funny to put down the woman sitting next to him, he's not a man. And the woman who continues sitting next to him is not much of a woman - have some self-respect! If you need alcohol to have a good time, you lack intelligence. If you need big toys to impress your friends, well, you probably lack more than just intelligence, if ya know what I'm sayin'. College is over and high school has long passed. Grow up.

I'll be honest, my "single life" has been rather banal thus far, and will continue to be so. I certainly haven't been perfect, but I purposely avoid places where douche-bags congregate. (Sorry, but really! Is there a better word to describe them)? No hot tubbing, no clubbin', no chasing the "bad boy" and no parties. Sure, it would make for a fun night, and certainly beats sitting home alone, but then what?

The quality of man I want won't be found at a place like that. The man I want will call it an early night Saturday, because he has early meetings Sunday. Did I mention I've dated a man like that? Yeah. They're out there.

--- Now, for your viewing pleasure ---

Words for Thought

I'm a huge proponent of great quotes - I only wish I had more room on my fridge to fit my favorites. Since I don't, however, I'll share this one on my blog, instead. Hope it pricks your heart the way it did mine.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

- Mother Teresa

Enjoying this season

I was just thinking ...

A year ago, today, my little Gracie turned 6 months old and life was finally starting to feel "normal" again. It was like a breath of fresh air, and an immense burden lifted from my shoulders. You see - my first few months of motherhood were filled with anxiety, something I had never experienced before. This came as a bit of a surprise, but I was determined to overcome it so I began running an hour each day, went on a rigorous diet and started building a new business. My (x)husband was doing his thing (work and a lot of golf) while I was doing mine. It felt healthy, growing independent and strong, while gladly encouraging him to enjoy each day golfing. Most importantly, Gracie had found her routine and I had found mine. Order was restored and I found fulfillment, thanking the Lord daily. Life couldn't have been better.

Today, one year later, I echo those same feelings. I haven't exact direction with my life, but I've found a general routine and, in that routine, daily fulfillment. I can say today, as I did a year ago, that life is finally starting to feel normal again. The last 3 months have gone by quickly, and the last 3 weeks even more so. I enjoy copious blessings and bask in the daily support of loving friends and family. I continue to experience personal growth and self-awareness at a new level, and have gained a certain knowledge of God's love and concern for me. I've experienced love with a man of God, and I now know the strength of being equally yoked. Most importantly... I have a beautiful, healthy, daughter who leaves my heart bursting at the seams every minute of every day - my ineffable joy unfathomable.

The journey may seem never-ending, but the fresh air and lightened burden along the way bring perspective and gratitude to all things. I trust a glorious season awaits... but considering the season I'm in... Life couldn't be any better.

Summer photos

I am in complete awe at how quickly my little baby is becoming a little girl. She LOVES to play, watch the "big kids" around her, and copy exactly what she sees. This is both adorable and worrisome, but the reward in watching her learn is priceless.

Last weekend we made a last-minute trip to Idaho, and on our way back home we went to Bear Lake. Since it was unplanned we had no bathing suites, but Gracie didn't seem to mind, and it was all I could do to keep her out of the water.

And so - here are a few pictures from our Summer.

An awkward return and renewing resolve

Dear blog,

I can no longer hide the obvious. We both know I've neglected you these last three months, and it's about time I give you an explanation. The truth is... (Big breath)... I've been cheating. Yep. While you thought I was off working and enjoying my summer with friends, I was actually spending my time with another blog. Nearly every day. I grew and I learned more about myself, but when it comes down to it, I realize you're the original, you're lasting, and you're the blog I love. And so I'm back. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but as I give you my love and attention I hope I can make it up to you.

If you wonder about the other blog you're welcome to read it, but if it pangs you I understand. For the last three months I wrote nearly every day. I still have entries to finish and loose ends to tie up... but really... from here on out I'm all yours. http://90daysofhealing.blogspot.com/

Sincerely,
Natalie

A Mother's Day Surprise

I just checked my mail for the first time in days, and was surprised to find a Mother's Day card from an anonymous source. (Although his handwriting is so distinct he could never be considered anonymous). I don't know if he reads this blog, or if he would mind my sharing... but it was the most beautiful gift I could have ever asked for, and the cause of many tears.

How blessed I am to have great people in my life! Last Mother's Day I was not given a gift. This Mother's Day made up for it.

My first Mother's Day card from "Gracie"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mother -

I know many times you have been concerned about my well being and development. You have fretted and stressed about making the right decisions in your life so as to insure that mine would be one of privilege and promise. You have sacrificed, gone without, and lived each day so as to offer me an environment of growth and love.

I know you wondered if I would recognize the love and effort you have poured into my life since that first moment you held me in your arms. You accepted any sacrifice and hardship, but wondered if I would feel and know of the intense and tender love you have for me. Mom, I want to say this to you now - so that you know I appreciate EVERYTHING you have done. I could not ask for a better guide, friend, and mother. You have touched me in a way you can't imagine . I will never forget what you have done or what you are to me.

Forever yours

Your Gracie.

A work in progress

In March I started a remodel of my home, and worked like crazy for 3 weeks. I lived in my paint-clothes and went days without showering. (So what!? I was a freakin' machine). I planned on posting "after" pictures long ago, but keep putting it off because there are details I want to complete before doing so. I'm realizing that the details will never be finished - so I'd better just post what is done.

To Do:
Make pelmet boxes for front room
2nd layer of paint on kitchen cabinets
Install all cabinet doors
Install hardware on cabinets

Without further ado... my constant work in progress

Phase 1: When I bought my home.
Phase 2: My "married" home
Phase 3: My authentic (single) home












I made this pelmet box by following these directions

... Now to start on the basement... :)

Beyond frustrating!

No no no no no no no no!!!! I am so so SO bummed! SO BUMMED! I need to rant. It's either type it out or cry it out, so I'm gonna go with type. You can stop reading now - here I go.

My apple mail has been funky lately, so yesterday I took the initiative to fix it, even though I had no clue what I was doing. I decided to be independent and update it on my own, so I did a little research, read a couple articles then followed the directions, switching from gmail POP to gmail IMAP, hoping that would fix the glitch. Things started to get messy with both accounts going at once, so to avoid confusion I simply deleted my original account. Problem solved.

10 minutes ago I realized that, in doing so, I lost ALL of my drafts! I had been using drafts as a quick (and lazy) method to organize my thoughts and inspiration, and had at least 50 letters in there! Unsent letters to my x during our divorce, meant for my journal, inspirational quotes I had gathered, chats I'd copied and pasted that gave me motivation, ideas for direction in my life and how to be the best mother I can be, quick tips and tricks, links to articles to read, things to blog about, history of events for my journal, quick thoughts on Gracie, etc. I can't even begin to express my disappointment!

Now I show 21,302 unread messages, and I don't even care. I'm DONE messing with things - and just happy to know that NOW my drafts will be saved to a server, instead of just my computer. Lesson learned.

C'est la vie.

- randomness -

I can't get enough! (so unlike me)

I want a bed that inspires me.

Must... Buy. Chopsticks I can actually EAT with.

My new favorite combo. Blue and white. Clean, fresh and happy!

LOVE this photo! Can I please be the girl behind the mask?!


I MUST find this for my Maltese this Halloween


Fo' Shizzle! (I was caught off guard too)
I've been wanting a change to my hair color. I think this might be it...

I'm SO doing this in my basement... Never enough wall space to show-off my Gracie.

I'm excited to fall inlove again. (Not soon - but someday)