Goodbye Blogspot. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I've put this off for far too long, hoping it would somehow make it easier. It hasn't. Strangely, I feel like I'm loosing a little part of myself, even though so much will remain the same.

You see... I'm biting the bullet and transferring my blog from .blogspot to .com. I will no longer be posting content here, so if you like what you've read, you'll have to follow me at www.savedbygracie.com. Please change it in your RSS feed, and update my link on your site, if you happen to have one.

A year ago I had no idea how to use blogspot, and now it has become one of my best friends (sad I know). I've reveled in the simplicity of it - a freely hosted source where I can record my thoughts on any and everything, anytime. With 4 public blogs and 3 private, I've developed a love affair I'm finding hard to let go of. Yet, the time has come. Like a kid going off to college, I've decided to cut the blogspot umbilical cord. See ya on the other side!


A cry-fest with Josh

Some songs are worth putting headphones on for. Josh Groban's "When you say you love me" is one of those. I identify with the lyrics, in perfect unison. "When you say you love me, the world goes still, so still inside. And when you say you love me, for a moment, there's no-one else alive." Incredibly moving, and it begs the question, "Is there any high greater than falling in love?" I think it makes the dating game all worth it, despite the twists and turns, and disappointing (and surprise) endings.

Now there is no smooth segway here - so let me abruptly announce that I have not cried in 3 weeks. Maybe 4. I might be lying. Possibly 2. Regardless, it's been a long time. lol In fact, it wasn't until 3 days after, that I realized I hadn't even cried on my one year anniversary. (Or as my friend Amy calls it, ""divorciversary".) I guess I was too busy driving the strip with my new buddy, Dave, and enjoying Vegas from the back of a motorcycle with my gracious friend Jack. Dinner and a movie ended the night beautifully. I didn't cry because, apparently, there was nothing to cry about. What a great place to be in!

Which leaves me confused. Tonight I have nothing to cry about, yet I decided to let loose and allow a few tears to hit the ground. It felt great, so I'm convinced crying is a necessity for my health. If you haven't had a good cry in awhile, I suggest you give it a try! Just make sure to have Josh Groban blaring through your headphones. He takes a cry-fest to a whole new level.

You're welcome.


7 lessons I've learned, that I didn't know a year ago.

#7: Alone time is rejuvenating
I never made time for it in marriage, but in the last year it's been abundant, and I've learned to appreciate it. I've enjoyed getting to know myself better; to really soul search and discover what I want, who I want to be, and what inspires and drives me. Being alone has taught me that I love writing, and enjoy reading. It's also taught me that I care nothing for television and would rather stay up late cleaning my house than clubbing or going to a party. I know myself better than ever... but of course I do! There's nobody I spend more time with.

#6: People treat others the way they feel about themselves
I've always heard this, but it wasn't until this last year that I truly grasped it. My actions will never control or change another person - they will treat me as good, or as poorly, as they feel about themselves. I've always been a people-pleaser, but now I realize that pleasing everyone, and striving to reach my potential can never be in the same equation. Some opinions are worth holding onto, but the highest valued is that which I hold of myself.

#5: Healthy independence is empowering
Being single has forced me to develop small skills I had overlooked, and doing so has strengthened my confidence. I've gained tons of technical knowledge, discovered that the vacuum kills spiders just as well as a husband, and that fixing a clogged sink isn't so hard after all (just stinky). I should be embarrassed to admit this... but I had never driven through a parking garage on my own, and rarely filled up my own car with gas. I had never driven downtown alone, and only braved going to the same three or four places in the valley. Now I don't even hesitate to drive, including long road trips out of state. Funny, how learning one small skill can be so empowering.

#4: I can trust my own instincts
Decisions have always been hard for me, and in the past I relied heavily on the approval or permission of others, namely my spouse. Now that I have only myself to run ideas past, I've gained greater confidence in my ability to choose well, and to choose well often. I've also learned that the Lord will never make a decision for me, no matter how much I plead. I have to determine what I really want, act accordingly, and wait for Him to sanction it or leads me to a better path. In learning to trust myself, I've found liberation.

#3: Great relationships require great communication
I've never been a fan of confrontation, but it's a necessary evil and the price to pay for healthy relationships. I've learned to be more assertive, less passive, and only somewhat aggressive. (Always a work in progress lol.) It takes time, and work, but addressing a problem is far better than letting resentment fester. Remember, ultimately, people treat you the way you allow them, so if you don't like being stepped all over, belittled or disrespected ... stop allowing it! Lovingly speak your mind and patiently work toward a conclusion. You just might be surprised by the outcome.

#2: Women need each-other
I've discovered the joy, and necessity, of girlfriends and the fulfillment that can found from a girl's night out. I've learned of my dependence upon good friends, and the void they fill that a husband never could, nor was he ever meant to. I've learned to ask friends for help, and rely on them through my lowest lows. As I've branched out and made new girlfriends, I've found a satisfaction that I never knew before, and I couldn't be more grateful

#1: It's all about patience, and trusting in God's timetable
I'll admit, I'm not crazy about this phase of life. But... I've found great fulfillment in trying to make the best of it and living in the present moment, rather than waiting around for the future to arrive. As my friend Tisha says, "The good ol' days are here and now." When I find myself consumed with fears of the future, I remind myself that the Lord has an ineffable love for me, He wants my happiness and has a plan in place which will unfold on His own timetable, contingent upon my righteous efforts. Until then, I must trust that I'm exactly where He wants me to be, so I can become exactly who He needs me to become.


SavedByGracie.com - Join me in the journey

I had limited time to make this video, but if I could re shoot I would add: Healing has not come easily! Depression has certainly played its role, and I've had to make a conscious effort to fight my lows on a daily basis. There were plenty of days where I wanted nothing more than to lie in bed and feel sorry for myself. (I still have those days.) Loneliness has been a frequent companion, but I trust as I try to heal in a proper manner, it will be replaced with a healthy future. I know the lows... but I try not to let them get me down. Sometimes they win. Today, they didn't.

If I can do it... YOU can do it! You've got this.


Running in Snow

I was surprised and ecstatic over this morning's greeting. FRESH SNOW - and the first of 2010!! I couldn't help but fantasize about carving through fresh powder, and working on my goggle tan but, since that's several weeks away, I decided I'd settle for the next best thing. A run.

I love running in the Summer, but snow invites a new kind of energy, unmatched by any other time of the year. The cold air, the warm sun and the sounds of dripping water guarantee to imbue me with ambition and vitality. No matter the time of year, my running trail leaves me beatified and, frankly, I shrink at the thought of ever moving. This is one of those trails I can't take with me, ya know. lol So, until that time comes, I'm gonna savour running here every chance I get. Spring, Summer, Fall and perhaps even Winter. :)


The little joys of motherhood!

I'm not sure a child has ever loved binkies as much as my child. She ALWAYS has at-least one in her mouth and one in her hand - sometimes three or four. I'll take her binkie from her and, without skipping a beat, she'll immediately pop a new one in her mouth, which she'd been hiding in her other hand. Although this makes me giggle, it's a habit I need to break her of... so when I find a way to distract her from her binkies, I take it.

Today she started a new game. Put the binkie down mommy's shirt. Not entirely appropriate, but it served for a great distraction! She was enthralled for a few short minutes, and giggled as she put her 3 favorites in her new found hiding place. Moments later the game had gotten old, and she moved on to the next best thing. The day continued. I fed her, played with her and cuddled her before nap time. As I was cleaning my house, JUST NOW, I noticed a nagging itch on my chest. I went to scratch it, only to discover a yellow binkie still hiding down my shirt. I laughed out loud and found myself delighted over the discovery.

I am SO a mom! I had no idea sticky doorknobs, crayon-covered walls and snot on my left shoulder could be so fulfilling! I wouldn't have it any other way!