I wasn't gonna tell anyone, but I can't keep it a secret any longer. I'm pretty sure this year's LDS Church lesson schedule was developed directly around me. That's right! Call me narcissistic, but it is what it is. (And you thought you'd be getting a juicy secret. lol Don't worry - I have a few of those too. All in due time my friends, all in due time).
Every Sunday I leave church not only edified, but in complete awe at the lessons given and their poignant relevance in my life. Be it Sunday School or Relief Society, the topic is one that I had either been pondering all week or struggling with all week. Coincidence? Albert Einstein said, "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous." ... Einstein was a smart man.
And so it is with great anticipation that I look forward to this weekend. The LDS general conference weekend happens twice a year, and always leaves me spiritually obese. (Haha. I had to say it). I remember basking in general conference last October while in the thick of my divorce, confused and scared. Those messages pulled me through, and I'm hoping these messages will push me forward. A little nudge is always appreciated.
If Sunday lessons speak to my soul, imagine the strength to be found in the words of the Prophet and the Lord's disciples. I can't wait to hear what He has in store for me! I am SO GRATEFUL for the gospel and the strength found therein.
The original church of Jesus Christ has truly been restored to this earth, and I am eternally grateful to be a part of it. Learn more about it by clicking here.
3/31/10
3/25/10
Carl's Jr. or 5 Guys? ...The fat truth
I haven't had a burger for six months, and I hadn't had a burger for a year before that. I don't really care for the greasy, fatty, low quality meat so unless I'm feeling really careless I can't bring myself to force one down.Tuesday I felt like a burger. Weird. I ignored it, but it came back again. And again. I wasn't feeling particularly kind to myself, so I gave in and went to Carl's Junior to indulge in a jalapeno burger. It didn't stand a chance. I was considering getting another when I asked myself, "Which is better? Carl's Jr. or 5 Guys?" It only made sense to go to 5 Guys to find out.
After wolfing down both burgers, I can say in confidence that Carl's Jr takes my vote. I know 5 Guys is the fresh, real deal... but the melded flavors of Carl's Jr. can't be beat. (And IN-N-OUT is simply overrated so don't even bring them up). This is quite humbling to admit, as I loathe the sexual commercials by Carl's Jr ... but a good burger is a good burger.
2 days later I am still beyond sick! SICK I SAY! My tummy aches and I'm on the verge of puking every couple minutes. It didn't help that I also ate McDonalds and Chili's that day. How can anyone actually function on fast food!? My body hates me and I can't wait for tomorrow, in hopes that I'll finally feel better.
I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN! EVER!
Moral of the story: For every action there is a reaction. Indulge in gluttony and deal with the consequences. Treat your body right and reap the reward. I love how this unchanging principle applies to all things in life and, though we may put off the consequences, they can never be escaped. I thrive off the quest for perfection, and the burger fiasco was a not-so-gentle reminder that choosing otherwise is simply NOT worth it.
Now excuse me while I go run 8 miles.
3/22/10
Evolution of my kitchen
When I bought my home the kitchen looked like this.
$1500 and A LOT of elbow grease later, it looked like this:
New flooring, new appliances, gave the cabinets a facelift by adjusting, distressing and glazing them then adding molding, changed the light fixtures, painted the walls, installed tile countertops, a bar overhang and a new faucet. YES for less than $1500 INCLUDING appliances.
It currently looks like this:
As part of my healing process I'm making over my home. I've about done with the front room (pictures to come soon) and am finishing up my kitchen. I'm going feminine and a bit more modern, rather than the rustic I originally had.
I'm thinking of making it look like this:
(yes I rigged a photo in iweb lol) I literally beat up the original cabinets so repainting those isn't an option, however, my friend loves my cabinets and we have the same kitchen, so she's excited at the idea of swapping out cabinet doors. I'd have fresh cabinets to paint and she'd get the rustic look without having to do the work.
I'm leaning towards clean, bright white but I could also go a little ivory with glaze overtop - to bring out the ridges. I'm going for a modern but feminine feel
WHAT DO YOU THINK? Switch to white?
3/17/10
A breakthrough in happiness!
After "remodeling" my home last week (pictures to come soon) I've been on a shopping spree for accessories. The other night I was walking down the isles at Michael's when I saw a little bird. It was SO CUTE I couldn't help but smile as I heard myself say out loud, "Cute!" But I knew I couldn't possibly buy that bird... birds are so trendy. "But wait!" I thought to myself, "I smiled! Who cares if it's trendy, that little bird made me smile. I have to get it!" And get it I did. In-fact, I bought the entire family of birds. And why not?
They make me smile!
Now every time I walk into my front room I smile. This got me to thinking: I've never really paid attention to what makes me feel happy. I've always been so focused on DOING what makes me happy, that I've never considered FEELING what makes me happy.
This has begun a new experiment, and I've found myself spending copious amounts of money on things I love. I look at something, ask how it makes me feel, and then I make a decision; To buy or not to buy. In the past I'd buy something only because it was on sale and "cute enough." Now I find myself buying the thing I really love whether or not it's on sale. These have proven to be wise investments but this practice can obviously get out of hand, so pace yourself and know that a little goes a long way. A $3 bird may be all you need!
...Such a simple form of self-discovery.
Behold, a small taste of things I purchased this week that made me smile:
After such a discovery it only felt right to buy a few things to wear that make me feel happy. I paid close attention, and if something made me smile I knew I had to make it mine. Needless to say... I am one happy girl. (Yes that is a picture of my rockin' body. Never question me).
What makes YOU feel happy?
I challenge you to pay attention to what makes you smile - and then indulge a little. Not only do you deserve it, but you just might surprise yourself.
They make me smile!
Now every time I walk into my front room I smile. This got me to thinking: I've never really paid attention to what makes me feel happy. I've always been so focused on DOING what makes me happy, that I've never considered FEELING what makes me happy.
This has begun a new experiment, and I've found myself spending copious amounts of money on things I love. I look at something, ask how it makes me feel, and then I make a decision; To buy or not to buy. In the past I'd buy something only because it was on sale and "cute enough." Now I find myself buying the thing I really love whether or not it's on sale. These have proven to be wise investments but this practice can obviously get out of hand, so pace yourself and know that a little goes a long way. A $3 bird may be all you need!
...Such a simple form of self-discovery.
Behold, a small taste of things I purchased this week that made me smile:
After such a discovery it only felt right to buy a few things to wear that make me feel happy. I paid close attention, and if something made me smile I knew I had to make it mine. Needless to say... I am one happy girl. (Yes that is a picture of my rockin' body. Never question me).
What makes YOU feel happy?
I challenge you to pay attention to what makes you smile - and then indulge a little. Not only do you deserve it, but you just might surprise yourself.
3/14/10
10 years younger
Hi. My name is table. (original, I know). 7 years ago my owner rescued me from a yard sale for $10 and has been taking care of me ever since. She has been good to me and patient with my shortcomings, reupholstering my cushions and trying to make me attractive through accessories (table settings). I've never been much to look at, compared to all my friends, but I know deep down that I'm strong and have good character so it's never bothered me. I fit well in my little space and have always been grateful for it.
A few days ago my owner felt I deserved a reward for all my dependable work, so she gave me a face-lift. I can't believe the difference it has made in my life! Now my cushions are big, soft, and plump and my fresh new design has taken years off of me! Needless to say, all my friends are jealous. Eat your heart out.
A few days ago my owner felt I deserved a reward for all my dependable work, so she gave me a face-lift. I can't believe the difference it has made in my life! Now my cushions are big, soft, and plump and my fresh new design has taken years off of me! Needless to say, all my friends are jealous. Eat your heart out.
3/10/10
Natalie's mind at 2:22am
I'm baby hungry.
I never understood the phenomenon until I had a child of my own. In fact, I couldn't even fathom the hunger. Now I get it. Now I've got it. Nothing compares to those first 6 weeks and the majestic reverence a new-born brings to life. I crave that presence and find myself tearing up
at every newborn picture I see. Married nearly 8 years, and it isn't until divorce that I finally experience baby hunger. Ironic.
I miss my husband.
A rarity. I say husband because it's my husband I miss... not my x husband. The divorce was short, but far from sweet. The revealing process left me feeling as if the man I loved had passed away. In this moment I miss that man. I miss the friendship, the playfulness, the conversation, the laughter and the constant time we shared together. My mind strains to find those memories, now concealed under the heavy shadow of our last six weeks together as husband and wife; Yet once in awhile they come out of hiding, and in a split-second's time inundate me, reminding me of what life was like with my him. I miss those times.
What lies ahead.
I'm not dating. (At-least I'm trying not to). What's the point? I need to heal, and dating is not congruent with that goal. It would allay my loneliness, but to no avail. I'm not ready for marriage, hence, dating is futile. I desperately crave companionship, but I must resist. For now. I've been given a small window of opportunity to really focus on me - and that's exactly what I'm doing. I imagine marriage is quite far away, yet I can't imagine myself in this place much longer either. What will tomorrow bring? Isn't life interesting, with it's little twists and turns?! Now I'm just hanging on for the ride!
2:22am.
Tomorrow is here. I'll make the most of it, waiting patiently for the day after tomorrow. Now sleep.
I never understood the phenomenon until I had a child of my own. In fact, I couldn't even fathom the hunger. Now I get it. Now I've got it. Nothing compares to those first 6 weeks and the majestic reverence a new-born brings to life. I crave that presence and find myself tearing up
at every newborn picture I see. Married nearly 8 years, and it isn't until divorce that I finally experience baby hunger. Ironic.
I miss my husband.
A rarity. I say husband because it's my husband I miss... not my x husband. The divorce was short, but far from sweet. The revealing process left me feeling as if the man I loved had passed away. In this moment I miss that man. I miss the friendship, the playfulness, the conversation, the laughter and the constant time we shared together. My mind strains to find those memories, now concealed under the heavy shadow of our last six weeks together as husband and wife; Yet once in awhile they come out of hiding, and in a split-second's time inundate me, reminding me of what life was like with my him. I miss those times.
What lies ahead.
I'm not dating. (At-least I'm trying not to). What's the point? I need to heal, and dating is not congruent with that goal. It would allay my loneliness, but to no avail. I'm not ready for marriage, hence, dating is futile. I desperately crave companionship, but I must resist. For now. I've been given a small window of opportunity to really focus on me - and that's exactly what I'm doing. I imagine marriage is quite far away, yet I can't imagine myself in this place much longer either. What will tomorrow bring? Isn't life interesting, with it's little twists and turns?! Now I'm just hanging on for the ride!
2:22am.
Tomorrow is here. I'll make the most of it, waiting patiently for the day after tomorrow. Now sleep.
3/5/10
Life is just better with Friends!
HOW GREAT ARE FRIENDS?! Aaaaaaaaaaah! (That is a choir of angels singing a high A in unison - opera style - ....in case you were wondering).
Are friends not a complete gift from God? And He has sent me some truly great ones. How very blessed I am.
A few days after my divorce I turned to a scripture that read, "For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself." Romans 14:7. I felt it was the Lord's way of saying, "Ok Natalie, you're divorced...now go out there and make some friends." I hesitated, so instead he sent the friends to me. What a gratifying experience it has been, and my cup floweth over! The love that others have shown me is just one more way God has manifested His love for me.
I have three friends in my ward, in particular, who have reached out to me even when I don't want to be reached out to. I've had moments (many moments) where I just want to be alone, yet these women push past my not-so-subtle hints and continue to "pester" me until I hang out with them. :) Aren't we all grateful for friends like that?! I always leave happy, and grateful for their persistence.
Last month I had a horrible day, as I was preparing for Gracie's birthday photo-shoot. I was beyond overwhelmed, when one of these friends just "happened" to stop by to see if she could help me in any way. The next thing I knew, her husband was hemming Gracie's birthday dress (yes, her husband) and she was off to Walmart to buy cake supplies. (Anyone who's willing to go to Walmart on my behalf must truly love me)! She invited another friend over and we made a girl's night out of decorating Gracie's cake - ending in laughter and a great mood. Both she AND her husband were an answer to my prayers and I was in tears that night as I thanked the Lord for his tender mercies.
This is just ONE example! I could come up with, literally, hundreds more! Just today I had a playdate at the gateway with a friend I hadn't seen in months. She let me talk her ear off for hours, and I certainly got my feel of "adult time" in for the week. lol. It was EXACTLY what I needed!
On top of strengthening old friendships I've made many new "single" girlfriends as well - GREAT WOMEN - and am realizing that along this journey I am creating and rekindling bonding friendships that will last a lifetime. It is so rewarding.
Simply put: I am grateful for friends. Friends who watch Gracie last minute, friends who invite me over to dinner when I have happened to have a horrible day, friends who give me their old baby supplies, friends who invite me to play games, watch a movie or go to breakfast, who insist I hang out when they know that deep down I'm lonely (even though I'll rarely admit it), friends who drop by just to say hi, friends who recommend an inspired book, friends who offer a listening ear and a comforting shoulder to cry on, friends who have the courage to act on their promptings regarding me, friends who stand as an example of righteousness, and friends who love me and refuse to judge me - despite my blaring faults.
It is so true - that "None of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself."
Are friends not a complete gift from God? And He has sent me some truly great ones. How very blessed I am.
A few days after my divorce I turned to a scripture that read, "For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself." Romans 14:7. I felt it was the Lord's way of saying, "Ok Natalie, you're divorced...now go out there and make some friends." I hesitated, so instead he sent the friends to me. What a gratifying experience it has been, and my cup floweth over! The love that others have shown me is just one more way God has manifested His love for me.
I have three friends in my ward, in particular, who have reached out to me even when I don't want to be reached out to. I've had moments (many moments) where I just want to be alone, yet these women push past my not-so-subtle hints and continue to "pester" me until I hang out with them. :) Aren't we all grateful for friends like that?! I always leave happy, and grateful for their persistence.
Last month I had a horrible day, as I was preparing for Gracie's birthday photo-shoot. I was beyond overwhelmed, when one of these friends just "happened" to stop by to see if she could help me in any way. The next thing I knew, her husband was hemming Gracie's birthday dress (yes, her husband) and she was off to Walmart to buy cake supplies. (Anyone who's willing to go to Walmart on my behalf must truly love me)! She invited another friend over and we made a girl's night out of decorating Gracie's cake - ending in laughter and a great mood. Both she AND her husband were an answer to my prayers and I was in tears that night as I thanked the Lord for his tender mercies.
This is just ONE example! I could come up with, literally, hundreds more! Just today I had a playdate at the gateway with a friend I hadn't seen in months. She let me talk her ear off for hours, and I certainly got my feel of "adult time" in for the week. lol. It was EXACTLY what I needed!
On top of strengthening old friendships I've made many new "single" girlfriends as well - GREAT WOMEN - and am realizing that along this journey I am creating and rekindling bonding friendships that will last a lifetime. It is so rewarding.
Simply put: I am grateful for friends. Friends who watch Gracie last minute, friends who invite me over to dinner when I have happened to have a horrible day, friends who give me their old baby supplies, friends who invite me to play games, watch a movie or go to breakfast, who insist I hang out when they know that deep down I'm lonely (even though I'll rarely admit it), friends who drop by just to say hi, friends who recommend an inspired book, friends who offer a listening ear and a comforting shoulder to cry on, friends who have the courage to act on their promptings regarding me, friends who stand as an example of righteousness, and friends who love me and refuse to judge me - despite my blaring faults.
It is so true - that "None of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself."
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