Words for Thought

I'm a huge proponent of great quotes - I only wish I had more room on my fridge to fit my favorites. Since I don't, however, I'll share this one on my blog, instead. Hope it pricks your heart the way it did mine.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

- Mother Teresa

Enjoying this season

I was just thinking ...

A year ago, today, my little Gracie turned 6 months old and life was finally starting to feel "normal" again. It was like a breath of fresh air, and an immense burden lifted from my shoulders. You see - my first few months of motherhood were filled with anxiety, something I had never experienced before. This came as a bit of a surprise, but I was determined to overcome it so I began running an hour each day, went on a rigorous diet and started building a new business. My (x)husband was doing his thing (work and a lot of golf) while I was doing mine. It felt healthy, growing independent and strong, while gladly encouraging him to enjoy each day golfing. Most importantly, Gracie had found her routine and I had found mine. Order was restored and I found fulfillment, thanking the Lord daily. Life couldn't have been better.

Today, one year later, I echo those same feelings. I haven't exact direction with my life, but I've found a general routine and, in that routine, daily fulfillment. I can say today, as I did a year ago, that life is finally starting to feel normal again. The last 3 months have gone by quickly, and the last 3 weeks even more so. I enjoy copious blessings and bask in the daily support of loving friends and family. I continue to experience personal growth and self-awareness at a new level, and have gained a certain knowledge of God's love and concern for me. I've experienced love with a man of God, and I now know the strength of being equally yoked. Most importantly... I have a beautiful, healthy, daughter who leaves my heart bursting at the seams every minute of every day - my ineffable joy unfathomable.

The journey may seem never-ending, but the fresh air and lightened burden along the way bring perspective and gratitude to all things. I trust a glorious season awaits... but considering the season I'm in... Life couldn't be any better.

Summer photos

I am in complete awe at how quickly my little baby is becoming a little girl. She LOVES to play, watch the "big kids" around her, and copy exactly what she sees. This is both adorable and worrisome, but the reward in watching her learn is priceless.

Last weekend we made a last-minute trip to Idaho, and on our way back home we went to Bear Lake. Since it was unplanned we had no bathing suites, but Gracie didn't seem to mind, and it was all I could do to keep her out of the water.

And so - here are a few pictures from our Summer.

An awkward return and renewing resolve

Dear blog,

I can no longer hide the obvious. We both know I've neglected you these last three months, and it's about time I give you an explanation. The truth is... (Big breath)... I've been cheating. Yep. While you thought I was off working and enjoying my summer with friends, I was actually spending my time with another blog. Nearly every day. I grew and I learned more about myself, but when it comes down to it, I realize you're the original, you're lasting, and you're the blog I love. And so I'm back. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but as I give you my love and attention I hope I can make it up to you.

If you wonder about the other blog you're welcome to read it, but if it pangs you I understand. For the last three months I wrote nearly every day. I still have entries to finish and loose ends to tie up... but really... from here on out I'm all yours. http://90daysofhealing.blogspot.com/

Sincerely,
Natalie

A Mother's Day Surprise

I just checked my mail for the first time in days, and was surprised to find a Mother's Day card from an anonymous source. (Although his handwriting is so distinct he could never be considered anonymous). I don't know if he reads this blog, or if he would mind my sharing... but it was the most beautiful gift I could have ever asked for, and the cause of many tears.

How blessed I am to have great people in my life! Last Mother's Day I was not given a gift. This Mother's Day made up for it.

My first Mother's Day card from "Gracie"

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Mother -

I know many times you have been concerned about my well being and development. You have fretted and stressed about making the right decisions in your life so as to insure that mine would be one of privilege and promise. You have sacrificed, gone without, and lived each day so as to offer me an environment of growth and love.

I know you wondered if I would recognize the love and effort you have poured into my life since that first moment you held me in your arms. You accepted any sacrifice and hardship, but wondered if I would feel and know of the intense and tender love you have for me. Mom, I want to say this to you now - so that you know I appreciate EVERYTHING you have done. I could not ask for a better guide, friend, and mother. You have touched me in a way you can't imagine . I will never forget what you have done or what you are to me.

Forever yours

Your Gracie.

A work in progress

In March I started a remodel of my home, and worked like crazy for 3 weeks. I lived in my paint-clothes and went days without showering. (So what!? I was a freakin' machine). I planned on posting "after" pictures long ago, but keep putting it off because there are details I want to complete before doing so. I'm realizing that the details will never be finished - so I'd better just post what is done.

To Do:
Make pelmet boxes for front room
2nd layer of paint on kitchen cabinets
Install all cabinet doors
Install hardware on cabinets

Without further ado... my constant work in progress

Phase 1: When I bought my home.
Phase 2: My "married" home
Phase 3: My authentic (single) home












I made this pelmet box by following these directions

... Now to start on the basement... :)

Beyond frustrating!

No no no no no no no no!!!! I am so so SO bummed! SO BUMMED! I need to rant. It's either type it out or cry it out, so I'm gonna go with type. You can stop reading now - here I go.

My apple mail has been funky lately, so yesterday I took the initiative to fix it, even though I had no clue what I was doing. I decided to be independent and update it on my own, so I did a little research, read a couple articles then followed the directions, switching from gmail POP to gmail IMAP, hoping that would fix the glitch. Things started to get messy with both accounts going at once, so to avoid confusion I simply deleted my original account. Problem solved.

10 minutes ago I realized that, in doing so, I lost ALL of my drafts! I had been using drafts as a quick (and lazy) method to organize my thoughts and inspiration, and had at least 50 letters in there! Unsent letters to my x during our divorce, meant for my journal, inspirational quotes I had gathered, chats I'd copied and pasted that gave me motivation, ideas for direction in my life and how to be the best mother I can be, quick tips and tricks, links to articles to read, things to blog about, history of events for my journal, quick thoughts on Gracie, etc. I can't even begin to express my disappointment!

Now I show 21,302 unread messages, and I don't even care. I'm DONE messing with things - and just happy to know that NOW my drafts will be saved to a server, instead of just my computer. Lesson learned.

C'est la vie.