Saved by Gracie

HOW I LOVE BEING A MOTHER!!! There is nothing in the world that compares to the euphoric and rewarding moments I share with my Gracie. I cherish dancing with her, sharing a silly giggle, watching her eyes light up in discovery, "chasing" her (both of us screaming), and witnessing her every-day small, yet significant, achievements.

By the end of each day I assess my energy, and if I'm not completley worn out then I know I didn't play hard enough. Suffice it to say, surplus energy is not in abundance - but oh, the satisfaction! (You momma's know what I'm talkin' about).

Although my divorce has produced excruciating heartache and disappointment, it has also yielded some marvelous fruit. The ability to give myself entirely to my daughter is one of them. I'm relishing in the lack of necessity to balance love - to juggle meeting her demands while meeting the needs of a husband. Don't get me wrong, I would be most grateful to juggle both, but I trust that there will be a season for that. Until that season arrives (if ever), I'm savoring my one-on-one time with her and feel quite gratified knowing that she's receiving every ounce of my love, affection and devotion. (This isn't to say I'm a hermit. I've created a well-balanced social life, but at the end of the day I have the duty and desire to love only one person. My Gracie).

In pouring myself into her I've discovered an invigorating strength, which has left me with pregnant anticipation for the future. My ambition has been pricked, and greatness lies ahead. I'm not implying I'm great, rather I've found myself at the bottom of the barrel, with nothing left to give but that darn "greatness" I've never dared pick up. Now, Gracie is my reason to do so.

I'm eternally grateful to my Father in Heaven for entrusting me with her. He knew what was in my future, and he gave me just the "tool" to survive. Not only to survive, but to thrive. I am most literal when I say, "I have been saved by Gracie."

I hope you get a child just like you!

An angry parents favorite phrase.... "I hope you get a child just like you" And I just might have. I came across a few of my baby pictures and had to smile at how much my little girl looks like me (although I was more of a chunk, thanks to the benefits of breast milk. Gracie was allergic.) Am I the only woman that gets a thrill out of seeing myself in my own daughter?

Let's just hope she didn't get my strong will and stubborn personality. Ok I lie. Secretly I even want her to have that. shhhhh

"MINI-ME, YOU COMPLETE ME!"

Just for me.

I wasn't gonna tell anyone, but I can't keep it a secret any longer. I'm pretty sure this year's LDS Church lesson schedule was developed directly around me. That's right! Call me narcissistic, but it is what it is. (And you thought you'd be getting a juicy secret. lol Don't worry - I have a few of those too. All in due time my friends, all in due time).

Every Sunday I leave church not only edified, but in complete awe at the lessons given and their poignant relevance in my life. Be it Sunday School or Relief Society, the topic is one that I had either been pondering all week or struggling with all week. Coincidence? Albert Einstein said, "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous." ... Einstein was a smart man.

And so it is with great anticipation that I look forward to this weekend. The LDS general conference weekend happens twice a year, and always leaves me spiritually obese. (Haha. I had to say it). I remember basking in general conference last October while in the thick of my divorce, confused and scared. Those messages pulled me through, and I'm hoping these messages will push me forward. A little nudge is always appreciated.

If Sunday lessons speak to my soul, imagine the strength to be found in the words of the Prophet and the Lord's disciples. I can't wait to hear what He has in store for me! I am SO GRATEFUL for the gospel and the strength found therein.

The original church of Jesus Christ has truly been restored to this earth, and I am eternally grateful to be a part of it. Learn more about it by clicking here.

Carl's Jr. or 5 Guys? ...The fat truth

I haven't had a burger for six months, and I hadn't had a burger for a year before that. I don't really care for the greasy, fatty, low quality meat so unless I'm feeling really careless I can't bring myself to force one down.

Tuesday I felt like a burger. Weird. I ignored it, but it came back again. And again. I wasn't feeling particularly kind to myself, so I gave in and went to Carl's Junior to indulge in a jalapeno burger. It didn't stand a chance. I was considering getting another when I asked myself, "Which is better? Carl's Jr. or 5 Guys?" It only made sense to go to 5 Guys to find out.

After wolfing down both burgers, I can say in confidence that Carl's Jr takes my vote. I know 5 Guys is the fresh, real deal... but the melded flavors of Carl's Jr. can't be beat. (And IN-N-OUT is simply overrated so don't even bring them up). This is quite humbling to admit, as I loathe the sexual commercials by Carl's Jr ... but a good burger is a good burger.

2 days later I am still beyond sick! SICK I SAY! My tummy aches and I'm on the verge of puking every couple minutes. It didn't help that I also ate McDonalds and Chili's that day. How can anyone actually function on fast food!? My body hates me and I can't wait for tomorrow, in hopes that I'll finally feel better.

I AM NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN! EVER!

Moral of the story: For every action there is a reaction. Indulge in gluttony and deal with the consequences. Treat your body right and reap the reward. I love how this unchanging principle applies to all things in life and, though we may put off the consequences, they can never be escaped. I thrive off the quest for perfection, and the burger fiasco was a not-so-gentle reminder that choosing otherwise is simply NOT worth it.

Now excuse me while I go run 8 miles.

Evolution of my kitchen

When I bought my home the kitchen looked like this.

$1500 and A LOT of elbow grease later, it looked like this:

New flooring, new appliances, gave the cabinets a facelift by adjusting, distressing and glazing them then adding molding, changed the light fixtures, painted the walls, installed tile countertops, a bar overhang and a new faucet. YES for less than $1500 INCLUDING appliances.

It currently looks like this:

As part of my healing process I'm making over my home. I've about done with the front room (pictures to come soon) and am finishing up my kitchen. I'm going feminine and a bit more modern, rather than the rustic I originally had.

I'm thinking of making it look like this:

(yes I rigged a photo in iweb lol) I literally beat up the original cabinets so repainting those isn't an option, however, my friend loves my cabinets and we have the same kitchen, so she's excited at the idea of swapping out cabinet doors. I'd have fresh cabinets to paint and she'd get the rustic look without having to do the work.

I'm leaning towards clean, bright white but I could also go a little ivory with glaze overtop - to bring out the ridges. I'm going for a modern but feminine feel

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Switch to white?

A breakthrough in happiness!

After "remodeling" my home last week (pictures to come soon) I've been on a shopping spree for accessories. The other night I was walking down the isles at Michael's when I saw a little bird. It was SO CUTE I couldn't help but smile as I heard myself say out loud, "Cute!" But I knew I couldn't possibly buy that bird... birds are so trendy. "But wait!" I thought to myself, "I smiled! Who cares if it's trendy, that little bird made me smile. I have to get it!" And get it I did. In-fact, I bought the entire family of birds. And why not?

They make me smile!

Now every time I walk into my front room I smile. This got me to thinking: I've never really paid attention to what makes me feel happy. I've always been so focused on DOING what makes me happy, that I've never considered FEELING what makes me happy.

This has begun a new experiment, and I've found myself spending copious amounts of money on things I love. I look at something, ask how it makes me feel, and then I make a decision; To buy or not to buy. In the past I'd buy something only because it was on sale and "cute enough." Now I find myself buying the thing I really love whether or not it's on sale. These have proven to be wise investments but this practice can obviously get out of hand, so pace yourself and know that a little goes a long way. A $3 bird may be all you need!

...Such a simple form of self-discovery.

Behold, a small taste of things I purchased this week that made me smile:


After such a discovery it only felt right to buy a few things to wear that make me feel happy. I paid close attention, and if something made me smile I knew I had to make it mine. Needless to say... I am one happy girl. (Yes that is a picture of my rockin' body. Never question me).



What makes YOU feel happy?
I challenge you to pay attention to what makes you smile - and then indulge a little. Not only do you deserve it, but you just might surprise yourself.

10 years younger

Hi. My name is table. (original, I know). 7 years ago my owner rescued me from a yard sale for $10 and has been taking care of me ever since. She has been good to me and patient with my shortcomings, reupholstering my cushions and trying to make me attractive through accessories (table settings). I've never been much to look at, compared to all my friends, but I know deep down that I'm strong and have good character so it's never bothered me. I fit well in my little space and have always been grateful for it.

A few days ago my owner felt I deserved a reward for all my dependable work, so she gave me a face-lift. I can't believe the difference it has made in my life! Now my cushions are big, soft, and plump and my fresh new design has taken years off of me! Needless to say, all my friends are jealous. Eat your heart out.