Hope in the Lord

I've pondered this entry for weeks. Not what to say... but HOW to say it. Life has taken a strange and sudden turn, yet it's something I must share. Surely there are those who might gain strength from my experience.

Perhaps it's time to re-evaluate life.... to step back and remind ourselves of what matters most... to insure we are building a foundation upon the Rock of our Redeemer. As with anything worth having, this foundation does not come easily and can not be built in a day, yet one will never regret having built it... especially when the tide rises. (And the tide ALWAYS rises). There will come a day when frothy, violent waves crash down upon you. There will come a day when a sinister storm rises against you with a devious smile, laughing while it thrusts you into near darkness - winds screaming in your face and rains thrashing at your heart.
For me.... that day has come.

On Sept 22nd 2009, my wonderful husband of nearly 8 years blindsided me when he told me he no longer loved me and was leaving. I was beyond shocked. I had thought our marriage was perfect, minus the natural adjustments that come with being new parents. I truly led a blessed life, and I acknowledged the Lord daily for that. In fact, according to the world you might say I had it all. Cars, toys, investments, homes, an abundance of free time, and the ability to buy whatever I wanted whenever I wanted (luckily I was frugal and wanted very little). I was certainly grateful for these things... but at the end of the day I knew without a doubt that THINGS didn't matter. "I'm just grateful to have a healthy baby and a husband who loves me. What more could I want?"

The divorce was short. Very short. He had no interest in separation, he just "wanted something different" and was eager to "move on." I went from happily married to divorced in 6 weeks and I quickly became a better person. As I was stretched and extended, I choose to become pliable in the Lords hands, rather than hard and brittle. What ensued was beautiful.

I always imagined a woman in my position must come out torn to shreds and feeling hopeless - embarrassed at the predicament she's been placed in. I was so very wrong. In fact, I've never been more confident. Experience has proven that confidence is an immutable result of one's thoughts. And so I turned to the Lord, putting the affections of my heart upon him, and he has shown me His tender mercies. I have come out stronger than I ever fathomed I could be, and with no amount of incertitude or reservation all credit is given to Him. He is magnificent. An hour doesn't pass where I am not grateful for the gospel and the "rock" and foundation which it has provided in my life.

As this new chapter in life begins I look forward to the growth and journey that awaits and feel blessed beyond words for the opportunity to someday become sealed to my little Gracie!