Today is a special day. Three years ago, today, I went through the temple and received my endowments. It was one of the best days of my life, full of indescribable peace and joy! Though I did not know what to expect upon entering, I knew I would feel the Love of God. I was not disappointed in the least.
My little sister "went through" the same day, and my big sister Angie accompanied me as my escort. As the session was preparing to begin, I remember looking around the room and growing in anticipation and excitement, as my eyes met each familiar smile. With so many friends and family present, the love was palpable and my was heart was consumed with joy and inundated with gratitude.
It was an incredibly beautiful day.
Afterwards, I remember my mind going a million miles an hour, as I felt the windows of heaven had been opened unto me. Not so much because of anything I had learned, rather because my heart was touched in such a way that even the most basic principles hit me in a new light. A light I could never delineate, should I try. I rehearsed the things I had learned over and over in my head and pondered endlessly on meanings - yearning for the day I could discuss them with Chris. For days (or weeks) I would fall asleep pondering and awake pondering, constantly basking in a state of meditation. I was beyond exuberant. The very memory of it fills my heart and makes me smile.
And so today I went to the Okur Mountain Temple to celebrate (mind you I passed up $15 tickets to an incredible powder day at Brighton.... so worth it)! The peace I felt today was the same peace I felt 3 years ago, and the same peace I feel EVERY time I attend. God is good like that. :)
As I look back to 3 years ago, my only regret was how quickly I returned to the "swing" of life. It was a special time, where I was striving for purity and aiming to live a higher law every minute of every day. I succeeded at this for a time, and then I decided to cram 4 seasons of "24" into one week. I remember feeling the spirit withdraw and thinking to myself, "It's ok. I'll refocus when we're done. For now this is just fun to be with Chris." I never quite regained my original vigor and zealousness.
This is a lesson I've decided to apply to my current state in life. My divorce has gifted me a deeper understanding of my divine worth and eternal potential. I have a new ambition to become that which I've always visualized I would someday be. I, once again, feel the windows of Heaven have been opened. And so, today, I begin a 3-month challenge to cling to the Lord in an effort to delay returning to the "swing" of life; A sure-step to shun complacency. A 90-day mission of sorts, where I focus daily on reaching outside of myself and savoring the unique opportunity I find myself in. I have come to a resolute conclusion that this time around I will relish in my growth, and linger in contemplation.
Lesson learned. Lesson applied. Happy Anniversary. :)
8 comments:
Can I hold you to it this time? lol. You're amazing. I love reading your blog. It lifts me and provides me with hope... not to mention your writing is beautiful.
i loved reading that! makes me want to be better :)
You are amazing! Thanks for sharing your experience of the Temple! It is so uplifting.
You inspire me!! What a strong women you are!! Thanks for the uplifting thoughts to help me become a better person!
Yes, Thanks for your wonderful experience of the Temple. It is one place that I always feel Brandon around me.
Don't ever blame anything on Jack Bauer, he has done more than anyone for this country. Long live Jack Bauer!
Such a great post Natalie. I work in the Draper temple on Sat. nights and it's amazing how easy it is to get back into the swing of "life" come Monday morning and lose that eternal perspective. What a great reminder and way to celebrate your "anniversary." Now you just need to give me a heads up in advance and come visit me at the Draper temple on a Sat. night so I can be in the initiatory/session at the same time as you. It's always fun to be able to help participate in ordinances with family and friends! :)
I stalked you (sorry!) but I had to tell you that when the page came up, Rett said, "OHHH, she's so PRETTY!" followed closely by "I see a temple!" You will never be sorry for the example you are setting for that beautiful little Gracie.
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